Periphrastic protestations by Processman~processplant.com
And in the heavyweight division red corner we have the technical perfectionist chef using a Hadron Collider Heston Blumentahl, battling it out for Coles.
Quote,“It wasquite a challenge to get people to eat crab ice cream”.
In the green corner we have the ever popularproduce promoter, Jamie Oliver employing the KISS principle (keep it simple stupid) approach.
Quote, “Stop being a vegan and start enjoying what you eat”.
Both renowned as British ‘foodgilists’,will be battling it out for the colonies.
How lucky we are. Roll on Vive la République!,
Clearly queen Lizzie wants this mess sorted out quick smart and has sent her two best agents to go head to head to do battle for the el’supremo supermarket greats.
Everyone is a winner here. More dynamic products, more food, more processing more packaging more money. Both men are brilliant in what they do and both have totally different styles.
It remains to be seen how the opposing camps do battle and the strategies used. So far the way I see it, it has been a rather odd and mismatched approach from both camps.
It’s easy to screw up good ingredients if you don’t have the right recipe. A little too much salt or sugar and your special dish could be ‘stuffed!’ Let’s look forward to the opening campaigns.
As Sun Tzu the great Chinese military strategist states from the compilation of The Art of War, the first step for a successful campaign are.
‘Generally, operations of war require one thousand fast four-horse chariots, one thousand four-horse wagons covered in leather, and one hundred thousand mailed troops. After sending in the scouts to probe for weaknesses in their opponent’s respective camps there have been numerous battle plans on both sides’.
Step one, the probes. Let the scouts go forth and test the market.
We’ve had the delightful cheery Dawn French – Curtis Stone assault. Make ‘em laugh’, campaign offering a plethora of offerings including loyalty schemes, no added hormones (take that anyway you wish) down down prices are down, (but our profits are up),how does that work hmm.
I gotta say here that I love Dawn French as the Vicar of Dibley or in French and Saunders but find her role as a clarion Coles a little naff.
But wait it does get worse, much worse. I’m lamenting Coles baby boomers piece de resistance full frontal attack of nostalgia nausea delivered by the wonderful vintage rockers Status Quo with the 1975 smash hit ‘down down’.
For me it’s like using tear gas on the unsuspecting masses. I never saw it coming but really felt the pain. I’m sure Status Quo will receive the appropriate counseling necessary and come to their senses eventually when they finally realise the enormity of their credibility mistake, but what of the collateral damage to the rest of us?
I have just napalmed my entire SQ library, may it RIP.A sort of short term cathartic shock therapy for myself.Coles has now played it’s opening Queens gambit, (in chess parlance). A most appropriate move one could say.
I was waiting the Woolworth’s defense in great anticipation.Maybe the semi defenseless.An appropriate salvo one thinks, having some of the most maniacally complicated variations in chess,Russian in origin. To chess fans it goes something like this,1. d4 d5 2. c4 c6. But alas it all came to bought.What a waste of fire power.
Woolies opening gambit had imploded like a failed souffle. So much potent talent, Eric Stone street, alias Cam in Modern Family has little to work with apart from a ‘ca-ching’, as part of an ad–lib I suspect which I’m guessing wasthe sound of a cash register from the booty he collected for his input.
Apart from the other banal ‘that’s my Willie’,Woolies, oops sorry that’sthe youtube parody, or was it, ‘don’t be a wally with woolies’, what were they thinking?
I can only hope they do better when the big guns come out. The big question is which campaign will have more bite!
Two great foodgilists, two totally different styles appealing to one mass market.Bring it on!Ohh, and one more thing. It’s interesting that both companies have chosen male juggernauts to spearhead their attacks.
What no Nigella?Didn’t anyone checkout Adrianne León?Don’t know much about her cooking but certainly looks a lot better than Jamie O. She’s the complete package. A chef, singer song writer, personal fitness trainer, model and actress.
Whatever the outcome of the Store Wars all of us in the food industry should benefit.
At processplant.com we can provide all your processing, packaging and material handling needs all under the one roof.
We have over 2000 new and used machine sat our Dandenong South showrooms. Call +61 3 9791 7011to pay us a visit.
Drop me a line at
pm@processplant.com if you have something cool you would to say. Or, if you like nominatea chef you think could do the job for either party.
Check out the processplant web site for everything in processing, packaging and material handling.
http://www.processplant.com
All for now, PM.Bloggerit
